Pauline Ryeland

Sexual Potency – Part 5


There are a few specific movements that assist the movement of the sexual energy and the most important one is to squeeze the Pelvic floor muscles. These are located between the pubic bone and the sacrum. Most women know how to activate their pelvic floor muscles, for men, imagine your testicles hitting icy cold water and pull them up.

There are a few specific movements that assist the movement of the sexual energy and the most important one is to squeeze the Pelvic floor muscles. These are located between the pubic bone and the sacrum. Most women know how to activate their pelvic floor muscles, for men, imagine your testicles hitting icy cold water and pull them up.

Mix and Match…


So it’s a combination of playing with the breath and squeezing the pelvic floor muscle. There is no set way of doing the breath and movement. You can’t do it the whole time you are having sex because you will be exhausted.

When you squeeze the pelvic floor muscles what this does is push the sexual energy through the body. If your body is relaxed during the sexual experience and not locked then the energy can move around which creates a very different orgasmic experience.

This can open both men and women up to experiencing more!


For men it means that they can start to experience way much more. The orgasm, ejaculation experience can be much more intense and they can start to experience body orgasms. From here there are other techniques that can be learned to bring about multiple orgasms and ejaculation choice. For women it can help you to open your body for more pleasure, to experience body and multiple orgasms. Squeezing the pelvic floor muscles makes your orgasm stronger which leads to a different experience. The great thing is that by doing this you intensify your orgasmic experience by awakening your sexual energy.

Total surrender…


The more connected you are to yourself the more you can experience in your sexual journey. Letting go of outcomes and allowing the body and your being to unravel at its own pace will contribute to your experience. Sex is more than something you do, something you participate in just because it feels good. Sex is an energy that you can learn to open up to and allow. It’s about being in total surrender to the moment and experiencing the bliss. Be in your body and allow the infinite possibilities to unravel.

Enjoy and have fun!

Sexual Potency – Part 4


The way of tapping into your sexual energy and awakening it to its full potency is through breath and movement and being present in your body and not in your head.

We need to manipulate the Autonomic Nervous System


The Autonomic Nervous System is divided into 2 parts: The Sympathetic Nervous System and the Parasympathetic Nervous System.

The sympathetic nervous system up regulates the body to prepare it to flee to safety when in danger. The Parasympathetic Nervous system down regulates the body to return it to the ability to rest and repair.

So basically the sympathetic nervous system ramps you up and the parasympathetic slows you down.

When your Sympathetic Nervous System is activated, it gets your whole system moving. You become more alert, your pupils dilate, you breathe more quickly, your heart beats faster and blood starts moving around the muscles. Your blood sugar rises and your internal anal and urethral sphincters constrict.

When the Parasympathetic Nervous System is activated, it slows you down, your breath and heart beat slow down, your pupils constrict, the blood moves to the core, the internal anal and urethral sphincters relax as does the whole skeleton.

When we are having sex we are usually in the Sympathetic Nervous system, because we are getting aroused and moving towards orgasm. We need to manipulate the nervous system by activating the Parasympathetic Nervous System.

Meditation during sex? What….


I know it sounds weird to slow your system down when you’re in your sexual experience however this allows the body to rest, even for just a minute and that can then kick your orgasmic system into another level and ultimately bring you to having a deeper sexual experience and allowing you to connect deeper with yourself and/or partner.

It’s all about the breath


We do this through activating our breath. To up regulate or to activate the Sympathetic Nervous system we do a variety of quick, fast breaths, usually through the mouth. We have to be careful to not lock our jaws tight and to breathe faster in a slightly relaxed manner. We have to be careful to not hyper-ventilate. Sometimes when people first start playing with this type of breathing they can experience pins and needles or locking up of the hands. This is called tetany and occurs due to blockages with the energy. When this happens, bring your breath back to normal. If you keep going you will end up with a hand that looks like the claw! temporarily only.

To activate the Parasympathetic Nervous System, we down regulate with our breath. Simply taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling. If we can bring some sound into the exhale that gives a vibration in the throat which can activate the sexual energy more. There is no set pattern, just start to play with it.

Activating the Pelvic Floor for more pleasure…

Sexual Potency – Part 3





What’s going on when you self pleasure?


First off, are you self pleasuring and if not, why not? Often when people get into relationships, they automatically stop self pleasuring because their sexual needs are being met by the person they are with. Or they think they shouldn’t or they feel guilty because they are now in a relationship.
Whether you are in a relationship or not, I believe self pleasuring is extremely important for you as an individual. It’s about taking your sexuality and your sexual experiences for you, for a myriad of reasons. Self love, self care, self nourishment, health, own expression and connection. Ultimately we are all responsible for our own sexual experiences, for bringing our own pleasure to ourselves. We need to know what we like, how we like to be touched, what awakens us and not delegate our sexual requirements to someone else to “take care of,” all the time.

It’s all about love


Self love is so important, if we can’t love ourselves fully in every aspect, including sexually, then how can we expect someone else to.

Single people often just pack up shop and close the door and don’t go there whilst they are single. The danger with that is, that you are shutting your libido down, burying it and when you do that all sorts of complications can come in. Your emotions get shut down, your health can be effected, you can become sick and for men erectile function can be effected.

Our sexual energy is our life force


When you are not utilizing your sexual energy, you are not living, you are existing!

So for a moment, think about how you self pleasure. Do you always go for the same style, techniques, little tricks to get you there? Do you reach for the top draw and automatically pull out your toys and go straight to the genitals? Do you put on a porn movie to get you going? What is your habit? What is your pattern?

When we become aware of what our patterns are, we can then look at new ways to awaken ourselves up.

There is lots of different things we can do with regards to touch and how we can self pleasure differently through friction based sex which can change your sexual experience.

Breath and Movement……..

Sexual Potency – Part 2




We also disconnect from ourselves due to shame and guilt, from previous experiences, perhaps one of them being busted for masturbating by a parent when we were young or a partner and made to feel guilty by our partner, because “they” should be enough. We also disconnect because we can’t handle to much pleasure, (crazy, I know), so we block and limit ourselves.

We also disconnect from our sexual experience if we watch too much porn. When we engage
with porn on a consistent basis we are externalizing, which disconnects us from ourselves. There are ways to utilize porn in your sexual play where you can stay connected to yourself.

We not only disconnect from our bodies, we also create a massive disconnection from our hearts and genitals, it’s almost like they come from 2 different locations

So how does this disconnection effect us?


What it does is keeps us in our heads, which doesn’t allow the natural sexual energy to flow.

Sex has become goal orientated and action driven and everyone wants a bigger, better, more potent sexual experience than the last time.

If we looked at a graph for sex, at one end would be Joy and Bliss and at the other end there would be excitement. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, however there is a lot of pleasure being missed out on in between because we are all busy in our heads, consciously or sub-consciously going through our check lists.

We’re planning what we are going to do next. We’re busy focusing on what we are doing instead of focusing on the experience.

As a society we are always chasing more and in sex it’s no different. Sex is an energy and when we learn how to manipulate the energy, we can take our erotic pleasure beyond anything we can even imagine!



Most people focus on genital, friction based sex which is fantastic. Some people are better at it than others and require some guidance and there is always more you can learn. We also become creatures of habits in our lives and in sex it’s no different. We get into the patterns of liking it in a certain way, a certain position, doing it the same and that’s great for awhile, yet it can also become a bit too familiar, a bit too same, same. That’s when boredom can set in and we can find ourselves in a funk, not really interested in sex as much and then after awhile, our libido can start to drop and it can become a real effort.

What’s going on…?

Sexual Potency – Part 1


Just for a moment, take some time to think about how you have sex.


– How do you experience it?
– What goes on in your body?
– What feelings and emotions do you feel?
– What thoughts are occurring for you whilst you’re in the middle of it?
– Where is your focus?

That’s quite a bit to think about isn’t it?


Imagine what it would be like to awaken yourself, to be able to experience sex at a level that is beyond your comprehension. Opening yourself to fully engage with your sexuality so that you can reach the sexual potential that is your birth right as a human being.
Would you be willing to do that?

Most people when they are having sex are not connected, grounded or present with themselves let alone their partner. This is a recipe for massive disconnection which then restricts how you and your body engages and responds during a sexual experience.

Checking out….


Many people check out of their bodies when they’re having sex and the reason they do that is varied and is not something we are often conscious of. It can be as simple as a habit; you’re experiencing an orgasm, so you shut your eyes & go off somewhere into the cosmos. There is nothing wrong with doing this, however when your eyes are closed you disconnect from self and your partner. So just open your eyes occasionally, look at your partner, connect. It can also come from lack of self worth and self esteem. On a sub-conscious level we put limits on our sexual pleasure, crazy I know! A woman may think, “oh finally I had one”, so they stop. A man believes he’s done because he’s ejaculated and stops.

Get out of your head..


We are in our heads a lot, wondering what we look like, self consciousness comes into it as well. Maybe a woman doesn’t like going on top because as she bounces around having a good time, so is the rest of her body which makes her feel self conscious, so she’ll disconnect from herself. The reality of it is the person underneath you doesn’t care, they are loving it. Guys on a sub-conscious level are wondering if they are good enough, man enough, if their penis enough, can they get the woman to orgasm…it’s like a mission and we end up with a whole lot of “to do lists” of got to do this, before we can do that and so it’s like this eternal search for more.

So while all this is going on….

Sexual Awakening – What Does That Mean?


Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy Whisperer talks about sexual energy and how we can awaken it.


Download the Full Episode –…/the-intimacy-whisperer–epis…

Pauline discusses some of the key aspects of sexual connection and how to deepen our sexual experiences with ourselves and a partner.

Listen to the recording and discover:
 1. What sexual energy is
2. How to get more out of your sexual experience
3. How to manipulate the sexual energy

4. How it’s possible to go further than we can possibly imagine in our sexual experience
5. How to become more connected to our bodies so we can experience more with our intimacy
6. The role self-love and care plays in our sexual experience

Listen to the Recording

Download the Full Recording –…/the-intimacy-whisperer–epis…

Hormone Health and The Importance of Getting the Right Balance



Episode 8 – 25 April with Kimberley Campbell-Zeltner



In this episode, we discussed the importance of:

• Understanding how our hormonal and Emotional Health effects all aspects of our being
• Why it is important to Understand Your Menstrual Cycle
• How Healthy Hormones Lead to a Healthy Conception and a Healthy Pregnancy and a Healthy Baby

We also talked about the different cycles of women’s health from menstruation, pregnancy, after birth, aging of the body, levels of energy and menopause and how hormones play a huge role in these areas.

To Listen or download this episode:

We also covered the 5 top tips to managing your hormone levels:

  1.   How nutrition plays a vital role in the effects on our hormonal cycles. How good nutrition fuels our bodies and how important it is to eat the right foods and have the right balance.
  2.  How detoxing the body on a regular basis is important to reset the body. Not just with the food you intake. Also looking at what products you use on your skin, for your hair, your body as well as looking at what you use for your menstruation because standard tampons and pads are full of pesticides and bleach.
  3. How meditation plays a vital role in hormonal balance as it creates a more calmer and peaceful place to function from.
  4. How charting your cycle plays a huge role in ascertaining what is going on in your body.
  5. Managing stress levels and how that also supports optimal hormone functions.

Listen To Replay –

Download Full Episode –…/the-intimacy-whisperer-with-…

For more information about managing your hormonal health go to: and download her free Ebook “10 Steps to Building a Healthy Menstrual Cycle”
Join her facebook page to keep up to date with her latest information: Facebook-Women’s-health

Kimberley’s mission is to educate and empower women to be the best version of themselves. To be well informed about their body, and take control of their Hormone Health.

Kimberley has been in private practice since 1999, supporting individuals to look at their personal challenges and address the relationship of mind, body, emotion and spirit. She is of the view that the most effective way to complete healing is through looking at each individual as a whole person.

Kimberley has studied an array of modalities that have supported her own personal journey and uses these teachings to support women on their specific and personal path. She works with the psychology of the body to restore flow, function and balance. Her passion for nutrition and good food allows her to include this as part of healing as a whole.

Listen To Replay –

Download Full Episode –…/the-intimacy-whisperer-with-…

Don’t forget to send any questions you may have relating to intimacy, sex, relationships and everything in between to Pauline at or you can go via the website

Please let Pauline know if you’d like to take her up on a free 15 conversation.

Listen in to the next Intimacy Whisperer program: 3pm Monday, 6 May, USA Pacific time and 9am Tuesday, 7 May Qld time with a special guest to be confirmed.

Listen To Replay –

Download Full Episode –…/the-intimacy-whisperer-with-…


Masculine and the Feminine – What Does it Mean?


Episode 7 –  11 May with Dane Tomas who is an Author, Creator and Personal Development Innovator



In this episode, we talked about the masculine and fe,inine within us.  What it actually means and how that effects our relating in the world in all aspects of life. whether in business. relationships and intimacy.  We discussed how this makes up a person’s individual essence.

Listen or download to the full interview:
We looked at the traditional role of the masculine essence which is a more direct and penetrative capacity with qualities of the strong physical, ability to focus, determination and getting things done. Whereas the traditional role of the feminine essence is the receptive, flowing, creative, softer qualities.

We also discussed:
• How to bring them into balance and the tools you can use to assist with that
• The traditional Archetypes and the original blue prints
• Understanding the two polarities and the dance of the energy of both
• Bringing this into relationships
• Clearing our baggage that we pick up on an unconscious level
• Working with our shadow to bring about awareness and healing

Dane has created a process for setting people free from the baggage that is holding them back called “The Spiral”. You can contact Dane via

This was a fascinating and interesting discussion where we covered so much more, including:

  • How our conditioning shapes us and how that affects our relationships
  • How the development and integration of our own masculine and feminine is central to having healthy relationships, healthy sexual connection and healthy lives in general.

I thoroughly enjoyed talking with Dane and you can either listen to the replay here or download the full episode:…/the-intimacy-whisperer-with-…

Remember to send any questions you may have relating to intimacy, sex, relationships and everything in between to Pauline at or you can go via the website

Please let Pauline know if you’d like to take her up on a free 15 conversation.




Scars And How They Effect Your Sex Life



Episode 6- 28 March 2017 with Ellen Heed


In this episode I interview Sexological Body Worker, Ellen Heed. Ellen is also co-founder of STREAM: Scar Tissue Remediation, Eduation and Management Professional Develomemt Training Program.

You can listen to this scintillating, sexy show:

In this episode, we talked about the benefits of overcoming debilitating scar-related sexual pain: HOW scars can distance you from you love life, your sexuality, and your intimate partner and how you can help yourself!

• EVERYONE with a body has had an injury, a surgery, an infection, or cancer treatment that may have left them with scar tissue.
• How scar tissue can be formed from a variety of issues from bladder infections, endometriosis to back pain
• Scars from childbirth injuries, pelvic, or abdominal surgeries can cause painful sex.
• Scars are not optional, but discomfort is.
• Three ways you can alleviate scar discomfort.
• The best person to help with scars in your pelvic floor.

Ellen is a certified Sexological Bodyworker, which gives her the scope of practice to work directly with genital tissues in the state of California. She educates clients about their erotic possibilities, using genital mapping as a process. Her goal is to uncover the authentic erotic voice of the body, celebrating each victory as my clients explore every pleasurable molecule of their genuine human skin.

However, if you tune in there is a whole lot more to it. We discussed how the bio-mechanical and bio-chemical imprints effect each individual situation as well and we give plenty of examples.

We also discussed how this work is not documented and researched in ways that the medical world has the awareness how scar tissue can show up and effect sexual function.

For people located in the USA you can contact Ellen at or for people located in Australia, go to

Not only did we discuss how internal scars, known as adhesions effect women with painful sex. how they can also impact men with their sexual function as well and the sensitivity men can experience from circumcision.

This is by far one of the most fascinating interviews so far. 
 It is a fabulous conversation!

Listen to the Replay –

Download the Full Episode –…/the-intimacy-whisperer-with-…

Don’t forget to send any questions you may have relating to intimacy, sex, relationships and everything in between to Pauline at or you can go via the website

Please let Pauline know if you’d like to take her up on a free 15 conversation.

Listen to the Replay – –

Download the Full Episode –…/the-intimacy-whisperer-with-…

Relationships, Intimacy, Sex & Everything in Between

Episode 5, 14 March 2017


In this episode our special guest was unable to join us at the last minute.  So we decided to talk about the above topic.

Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy Whisperer® Pauline works as an Intimacy and Sex Coach and Educator and is a certified NLP Practitioner, Subconscious Re-programmer, Coach, Hypnotherapist, Certified Tantra Teacher and Educator and a Certified Sexological Body Worker.

Listen to the Replay –

In this episode, she talks about:

  • Relationships and the traps we fall into of demand and expectation
  • Asks questions that challenge you on what is possible in a relationship
  • Explores how to communicate more effectively
  • Explains how intimacy can be deepened and how it can enhance your love life
  • Discusses libido and why it can disappears

Pauline also discusses how disconnected we are from ourselves and each other and how learning to be in the body and becoming present can make an enormous difference in your relating, communication and intimacy.She also takes you through 2 different NLP processes to get in touch with your past erotic, sexy self.

  • The first one, taps you into a past erotic memory and brings it into the conscious memory
  • The second process allows you to take something from this memory that you would like to bring into your life and puts it into your future timeline

Both processes are incredibly powerful and helps to bring your sexy back, turn your libido up and turn your libido on if the fire’s gone out.
It is a fabulous lesson!

Listen to the Replay –

Download the Full Episode –…/the-intimacy-whisperer-with-…

Don’t forget to send any questions you may have relating to intimacy, sex, relationships and everything in between to Pauline at or you can go via the website

Please let Pauline know if you’d like to take her up on a free 15 conversation.





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