I love living on the Sunshine Coast! I love the very lay back life style we enjoy here. I love the weather, the beaches and the beautiful hinterland. I have lived on the Sunshine Coast for 9 ½ years and it would take something very special to see me living anywhere else. I love living near the beach, it keeps me sane and keeps me grounded. I don’t get down to it nearly as much as I would like, yet I know it’s there and I love nothing more than going down for just a quick dip, a refresh and then I can get on with my day. I’m loving living at Mudjimba which I only moved to last October and I’m discovering new things about the area all the time. I have totally fallen in love with the North Shore where you can swim in flat water on the Maroochydore river! YAY (I am an ex-ex Melbourne girl), so grew up on flat water. What I love about the North Shore is that there is this lovely little current and when you jump in for a swim you can float along for as long as you want and then just stand up and walk in the water against the current. I’ve been having lots of fun playing down there. I love the local beach, it has a really beautiful energy down there probably due to Mudjimba island directly across the water from it. I believe there are a few meanings of the word Mudjimba however the most common meaning is Old Woman which is an Aboriginal meaning. I’m also loving my local gym which has a great variety of classes but the best thing is they have infrared saunas! I’m hooked and aim to have at least one a week. I’m also really grateful for my wonderful community of friends that I have made since being here and for their support and love for me.
Well I am grateful for all the people in our communities who help to keep us safe. I am fortunate enough to not have had a personal experience with these people.
So today I am going to give a shout out for my 2 communities which I have been involved with for nearly 5 years now. Those 2 communities are The Joining and Being Woman which are full of amazing and extraordinary people who give of themselves to this group of people on a continuing level. Whenever anyone is stuck and puts their hand up, someone assists, if someone is in hospital, whether it’s them personally or a family member we all contribute in some way, whether we send healing, hold space or cook meals. These communities are full of love and service to each other and I am extremely blessed to be a part of them. We have people that volunteer a whole year of their life to be in service for the planning of these events and who also do their inner work as well which brings about healings and learnings which creates a ripple effect out into the community and beyond. The Joining and Being Woman is about conscious connection and awareness, community, love and so much more. There is an energy within these communities that is supportive, loving, nurturing and when we come together we connect in a deep and powerful way. I know that I am blessed to have so many people in my life from these 2 wonderful communities and that being part of these communities has helped me on the journey that I’ve be on and to where I am now.
There are a myriad of reasons why this can happen, we are tired, busy, have too many demands on us yet really these are all just issues on the surface. We may use these as excuses however if we really dig down below the surface there is a lot more going on.
The majority of the time we disconnect from ourselves because we are so busy doing that we forget about being. It’s important to keep the sexy sizzling all the time, sometimes it can turn into a bit of a simmer and we have to turn the heat up so to speak but too often it just gets pushed aside as it’s not a priority.
What most women are not aware of is that it’s important to keep the sexual energy flowing, when it gets pushed aside or shut down, it effect’s all areas of you life. The sexual energy is your life force or your life centre and when that is shut down, or on snooze it starts to effect other areas of your life. It effects your emotional well being, you health, your relationships as well as your creativity and abundance.
So How Do You Keep Your Sex Drive OFF The Snooze Button?
Connect in with yourself, we disconnect from ourselves too easily, so do some things that assist you to be present with yourself and
conscious. When you can connect in with yourself fully then you can connect in with your partner fully if you are in a relationship.
Bring some balance into your life around self nurture, diet, spirituality, health, exercise, emotional well being, fun and play. When you are taking care of yourself in all these areas then everything will flow and your sexy will be back and you won’t be hitting that snooze button anymore.
Here’s a few ideas to help you get started, love yourself fully for who you are, you are unique and there is only one of you, wear sexy lingerie a lot, don’t save it for special, wear it under your track pants or don’t wear any at all. Get naked as much as possible so you are comfortable with yourself, if you are home alone do the housework naked, it can be extremely liberating. Take time out
for a bath, meditate, do some yoga or pilates. If you don’t exercise, you are missing out on those endorphins and they are pretty sexy, eat good healthy food and most importantly have some fun!
I am really very blessed to have some wonderful and supportive friends in my life. The act of kindness that stands out for me most recently was when I moved house. All the things you need to do when moving was a little overwhelming and so I put a call out to see if anyone could help. First off I am grateful to have my friend Paul Francis (Doodlejam) come and move my things from my temporary place the night before the removalists came to collect my things from storage. That was so I could have all of that organised before the removalists came the next day to bring my things over from storage. I had a window of 10 days of being in the house to be off travelling interstate for training and the thought of unpacking my whole house in that time frame was a little daunting to say the least. So incredibly grateful to my friends Nivannii and Rhonda Elliott who came to help me unpack! It made such a huge difference to getting the place in order. Nivannii looked after the kitchen and knick knacks and Rhonda was my tradie, assembling furniture and wiring up the stereo amongst a myriad of other chores. We accomplished so much in one day between us and we had a lot of laughs along the way. I am blessed and grateful that they are all a part of my life.
I am grateful for my home and there is nothing better than coming home, especially after being away, which has been the case since moving in here. I had a period of time this year inbetween homes and I found it frustrating to not have my own space, my own place that I could just be….whether it was to sit on my couch or have my own bed, I found afterwhile I really missed not having my own home. I finally found THE place, it ticked all the boxes that I was looking for and with great excitement I moved in.
What a joy it was to unpack and rediscover some of my treasures that had been packed away in storage for so long. The best part of unpacking for me is to find the right place to put all the special knicks and knacks to create the environment you love to be in. I do have a favourite spot where I like to sit with my morning cuppa outside under the protected patio and I can look at little garden and just breathe in the peace and quiet, just beautiful.
I am grateful that my brother and I have a close relationship even though we don’t talk as often as we can and he is interstate. It could have been very different as my parents divorced when I was 7 and he was 14 and the courts in their wisdom split us up. I didn’t really know him very well during my teenage years and he was someone I always looked up to as he was quite a famous hairdresser back then. Unknowingly he must have been an inspiration and guide for me as we have ended up on similar paths. I was always a little bit in awe of him during my adolescent years because he was famous and he had articles written about him in Woman’s Day and he was Hazel Hawke’s hairdresser. It was only when I was in my early 20’s that I got to know him really well and we did spiritual healing and massage together and found that we had a lot of similar interests. I am grateful that he is in my life and that he supports my adventures and my business. It’s funny as I write this that I’m aware of the healing and massage that we did so long ago and now we are both working as coaches. He’s working as a Wealth Coach and I’m working as an Intimacy & Sexuality coach, so our similarities are still evident all these years later. Yes I am very grateful that I have a brother that continues to inspire me.
I am grateful to my mother Francis Joyce, who was always known as Joy for choosing to birth me. She was an extraordinary woman who loved me and everybody around her. She was full of vitality and everyone adored her. I’m grateful that she was so affectionate and loving and that taught me the ability to be able to show my emotions and affections towards the people that I love. She was courageous leaving her husband in a time when divorce was considered “taboo”, however she knew she wasn’t happy and didn’t want to raise her children in that environment. I’m grateful that I inherited quite a few of her qualities including her good genes!
Everyone’s been telling me to start blogging, to just dive in and do it – so here I am blogging for my first time officially! It got me thinking along the lines of “first times” and all my “first times” through life. All the different experiences and how our first experience of a situation can shape us, depending on the way we view life and the particular situation. How and what we think, our behaviours, our values and our beliefs are usually so automatic, we don’t often behave from a conscious perspective and a lot of who we are is driven from our unconscious.
I remember the first time I had sex. It was certainly not what I thought it would be? It wasn’t anything like I was led to believe how it would be by the movies I’d seen, the books I had read or what my friends told me. So I wonder how was your first sexual experience? Was it everything you had hoped it would be? I’m sure it was nothing like what your parents told you. I suspect most parents explained the basics under the extremely out dated guise of “the birds and the bees” – like that has anything to do with it!.
I’m pretty sure it’s not much different these days either and that’s mainly because no-one really wants to talk about sex. I wanted my daughter to have good experiences of sex and so we talked in great detail about it and are both really comfortable to discuss anything at all. I know for most of my generation, let’s say 40 plus we weren’t told a great deal about what to expect when it came to having sex for the first time and most of us were handed a book. I was one of the rare lucky ones where my mum actually talked about what was happening with our bodies changing and she did touch ever so lightly on the topic of sex which was most unusual. I remember sitting around with her and my girlfriends and her discussing these topics with us all. The reason she did that was because she wasn’t educated and was very traumatised and so did not want that for me or my friends. So she gave what information she could bearing in mind the era that it was. At least she made an effort.
I actually don’t believe it is that much different for this new generation. Whilst they have more access to internet and media than what my generation did, people are still not talking about sex or intimacy. It’s still very much basic information. I did some research on the internet not long ago and found something where a professor in the USA was talking about 10 ways a woman and 10 ways a man can experience orgasm. I checked it out as I wanted to see what they had to say and really it was all light and fluff, nothing mind shattering nothing new and there were still at least 5 ways to experience orgasm that I know about that wasn’t even discussed!
So it’s no wonder that many people today are experiencing challenges with intimacy and sexuality. There is such a bombardment of false imagery and emphasis on sex today and there are not many places where there are discussions around sex and what it means to have a beautiful and intimate & fulfilling sexual relationship?
Most people don’t really talk about sex, it’s too personal, up there with not discussing how much you earn and how much tax you pay. Yet sex is statistically one of the most important activities in our lives apart from health and food.
I bet most of you weren’t aware that on 21 December it was Global Orgasm for Peace day, unless you are my facebook friend, then you may have spotted it. Someone decided it was a good idea for everyone to have an orgasm that day with the intention of raising the vibration of the planet for global healing and to focus on places of war. What a great idea, well I thought so.
I posted the link on facebook and I was really surprised at how few comments it attracted! So much so, that I reposted it that night and again a handful of comments. So that got me thinking, was it just because it was on facebook that people didn’t want to be so open about having an orgasm for Global Orgasm day or was it much deeper than that? Everyone posts on facebook practically their whole life, so why not comment here, even if it was in a light hearted manner?
From my experience, sex it not talked about because quite often people are having challenges with their intimacy and their sexuality. There is a lot of frustration, expectation, anxiety and general concerns around sex. Most people appear to be going through this on one level or another and a lot of people simply shut down their sexuality due to a variety of challenges they may be facing, whether they are going through some emotional turmoil, health issues, relationship challenges, self worth or a myriad of other reasons.
The good news is that these challenges can change, it’s just a matter of taking some action, evaluating and pinpointing the exact issue and then taking positive steps to move forward.
I think from my first blog you can tell I’m just a little bit passionate about having loving, committed, intimate relationships where you can take yourself to that next level of connection and experience deeper heart space connection and more amazing, mind shattering sex!
Pauline Ryeland, Intimacy & Sexuality Coach
A monthly facilitated 2 hour women’s circle where we can come together and really share from our hearts in a safe and supportive space. Here we will be able to do some deep work where we can look at limiting beliefs, negative patterns and behaviours and make changes on the unconscious level. We will also dive into intimacy and sexuality and discuss what’s really going on for you here and we will look at bringing about significant changes for you so you can move forward in your life.