I find it sad as a society that we have to invest so much interest into some-ones sexuality. That most people want to know who someone is having sex with rather than accepting someone for who they are. Our society is so screwed up around sex and the so called taboos associated with it that all sorts of assumptions and mis- information is rampant.
SEX IS OUR NATURAL BIRTH RIGHT
How would it be and what a better world would it be, if we could remove our limiting beliefs and points of view and get back to the basics. Why don’t we accept that sex is our natural given birth right and a very healthy part of our existence and being. Our sexuality feeds and nurtures our soul and is our life force. How you feed it is irrelevant, as long as it’s done in an honouring way to yourself & the person you choose to be with and of course does no harm to anyone else.
I am not a bisexual so I don’t know what this experience is, just as I don’t know what it is to be a homosexual or lesbian. So I did some research with my database and interviewed a few people to get their perspectives on how life has been for them as a bisexual and the things that they have come up against in their experience of being a little outside the box.
For the most part many bisexuals have felt the pressure from both the straight and gay communities on them having to decide, to choose who they want to be with, a man or a woman. Some have endured being called “hogs” because they can be with either sex from straight friends.
One young woman told me that she asked her male partner if he considered it cheating if she was with a woman. His response was no, not if he could watch or be part of it, yet it wasn’t ok for her to explore her bisexuality on her own.
They also discussed with me how sometimes they felt so in between the genders with their masculine and feminine sides and can really feel the contrasts. Sometimes they feel so strong in their masculine and other times the girly and feminine side comes out.
I was also told that quite often when they came out to their parents, that often the parents would hold hope they would grow out of it and eventually choose the opposite sex.
The fact is that is not the case. A bi-sexual is no different from a straight person or a gay person, they just know that this is what they are. The only difference is perhaps that they may fight it or suppress it because it doesn’t fit inside the box.
At the end of the day it’s not just about the sex which seems that is what everyone else is focused on. A bi-sexual person is no different from someone who is straight or who is gay. They are generally wanting to be in a relationship that is loving and intimate with all the layers that go with that.
SO WHAT IS BI-CURIOUS?
In more recent years I’ve come across the expression Bi-curious. This is when a straight person has the curiosity of exploring what it would be like to experience being with someone from their own gender. Whilst some people have started to explore this area, they know in their own beings that they are still 100% straight, yet have enjoyed the experience of playing with a sexual edge and the many layers of what that experience may bring for them.
As a straight person who has only recently been bi-curious, I know that I want to be with a man 100%. I know it’s my natural way of being as I love everything about sex with a man because it’s men who really turn me on and push my buttons & make me weak at the knees. It still doesn’t stop my curiosity of what it would be like to experience a woman. If someone is bi-curious does that make them bi-sexual, absolutely no. It is simply that they want to explore and discover other aspects of their sexual being.
IT’S ABOUT WHO YOU ARE NOT WHO YOU HAVE SEX WITH
So, it is no different for bisexuals as it is no different for the gay community. It just is….. At the end of the day I don’t care whether you are straight, gay or bisexual or any of the varying shades of sexuality.
What I care about is you – who you are as a being and how you walk your path on this planet. What I don’t care about or have a point of view about, is who you choose to have sex with as long as it’s not harming anyone.
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Guest blog for www.inshapenewsflash.com