Since When Does Bad Behaviour Get Rewarded? When you’re a reality tv program called Married at First Sight…that’s when.
I get that the majority is staged, I also know some real people who were on the show that were manipulated and basically not treated well.
It’s not ok to cheat
However, as a Relationship Coach, I seriously question the integrity of the 3 “so called” experts who allowed Jessika and Brad to remain in the experiment. This is sending a very clear message to everyone…that’s it’s ok to cheat, if you really think the other person is special.
It’s also a very clear message from the producers and from channel 9 that cheating is ok and anything for ratings will do, no matter what. They should have been asked to leave the program and wished all the best in the outside world.
There’s Always Risks In Love
Isn’t that where we all take risks in the dating world, where we all put our hearts on the line, keep our walls up, drop our barriers…It’s called life and it’s called getting to know someone.
Why should they be given a chance inside the experiment. It makes a mockery of relationships. And yes, in the real world people cheat and get cheated on all the time, yet I doubt anyone gets rewarded for their bad behaviour towards their partners. If they cheat and wish to be together then off they go. They either make it or they don’t so why should it be any different on this show.
Cheating is never the answer…
When cheating happens there is always a reason as to why it happens. It can come from not feeling your needs are being met in some way. In most cases, I have found that it comes down to any of the following: lack of intimacy, communication, connection – both physical and emotional as well as not allowing the walls to come down and show vulnerability.
That does not make it right though
The problems started due to lack of communication. In this instance if they’d been honest to their respective partners they could have saved a lot of heart ache. The problem is people are scared to speak their truth or prefer to ignore what’s in front of them and bury it and just carry on taking no responsibility for their actions.
It’s an absolute disgrace that they can come to the conclusion to keep them there.
Sometimes our libido completely vanishes, one minute it’s there and the next it’s not and you don’t know what to do about it. We can suddenly be left with absolutely no desire or urge to engage in any sexual activity and at other times we have the urge without getting the results we desire.
There are many reasons why we can have loss of libido. It can be due to bad health, medication, erectile difficulties, premature ejaculation, menopause, surgeries, stress and anxiety, having babies, young children.
Lack of communication, not enough time, and feeling too tired.
Alternatively it can also be problems in your relationship, no connection or intimacy as well as massive disconnection.
Is it any wonder that libido issues become a vicious cycle?
Libido Can Come Back
The good news is with libido whether you have it, or don’t have it, or never had it, it can come back, it can be improved and you can learn ways to open yourself to experience more.
If you are in a relationship it often becomes a very big problem when one of you is not interested in sex. Maybe you’ve had a conversation about it that ended in an argument and / or tears and so it just gets swept aside and is never discussed again. When that happens it’s like there’s an elephant in the room, or in this instance, in the bed and it’s something that is sitting there between you and creates an energy, which affects you.
It’s often not discussed because for some reason we have trouble communicating our sexual needs, desires and wants. Couples can talk about all sorts of things, including deeply personal things, but for some reason we are still challenged when it comes to talking about sex.
Without Communication There Is No Intimacy, Without Intimacy, There Is No Sex!
So sometimes we just have to be brave, sit down and have that conversation and then together you can look for answers. Relationships are all about give and take and that also applies to sex.
Sex is your creative life force energy and creates harmony in your mind, body and spirit and to shut it off completely means that your life force is being shut down. Often to get the libido moving, it’s important to connect back to yourself and start with some solo activity. There are a few things you can do to reconnect with yourself.
Reconnecting with You is A Great Place to Start
There are a myriad of exercises that I teach to get you connected to yourself. Being grounded in you body and being present.
Letting go of what’s in your head so you can follow the flow of the energy as well as awakening the sexual energy.
If you’re having challenges, please call for a free consult as there can be many variances as to why you are experiencing a loss of libido and my role is to look below the surface to see what the underlying core issues are so we can bring about changes.
Everyone deserves to have a potent and fabulous sexual life.
HOW TO HAVE MORE FUN WITH A PENIS!
There is so much more to turning your man on than just going up & down… up & down…up & down! In this really fun workshop you will:
* Become confident with penis touch
* Learn heaps of amazing techniques to awaken his pleasure more
* Learn some super sexy cool things you can do to bring more intimacy
* Find out some amazing techniques for giving your man the most mind blowing oral sex ever!
Plus learn more about your own arousal system, how it works and how you can learn new ways to turn yourself on even more!
Plus all your questions around sex answered and so much more!
There will be no nudity or sexually explicit practice.
BYO VIBRATOR (Carrots will be supplied!)
This will a fun and informative workshop
Bookings essential: AMAZING VALUE AT ONLY $69.00!
Bookings via Eventbrite: http://penisplay.eventbrite.com.au
Presentation at Aminya College, Marcoola
Tuesday, 25th October 7pm to 8pm
Awaken the Sexy Goddess & unleash the Potent Man within!
Fully embrace your inner fire & ignite your sexual potential to become the sexual beings you are meant to be. In this juicy presentation you will learn simple but powerful exercises to awaken your own Sexual Energy. Mindful erotic practices will enhance your sexual connection to self and bring new awareness & understanding to connect to the more intimate part of your essence. When you can tap into that “place” and fully connect to self, imagine how amazing it will be when you connect with another! Guaranteed, this will be a fun & informative talk that will truly awaken you.
Please arrive 6:45pm for start at 7pm. Stay for refreshments afterwards.
People often hear the term Tantra, but really have no idea what it’s all about. I usually explain that there are several layers to Tantra. One way, is that it’s a way of deepening your connection with your partner through a series of exercises. The exercises and techniques are incredibly simple, yet extremely profound. They bring you into greater presence within yourself, which then allows you to connect to a deeper place with your partner. There are communication exercises which re-ignites your love and passion for each other by honouring each other and renewing respect. Some of the exercises involve some touch and breath as well. The intention behind all of the activities is to create a deeper and more intimate relationship as well as creating better communication skills.
Without communication, there is no real intimacy & without intimacy, there is no sex
Many Layers to Tantra
The other layer to Tantra is learning new ways to expand your sexual experience through a variety of techniques to work with the sexual energy so that you can experience more in your orgasmic pleasure. This is done through teaching different breathing patterns, combined with certain movements. When we start to play with breath we are learning to manipulate the Autonomic Nervous System, to bring about different experiences for yourself.
The word Tantra is Sanskrit from the sacred language of Hinduism. It comes from the word tan, which really translates to expanding and extending, spreading, weaving or manifesting. So like the world we live in, Tantra is the continual expansion of energy, spreading out like a cosmic wave which is made up of different energies.
When we learn to work with this sexual energy and engage intimately we learn how to surrender to our body. By letting go of our minds we can learn to ride this energy which then brings a new dimension into our sexual experience.
Tantra is a journey and when we are fully present within ourselves, we can connect to our partner in this way it gives a very different experience. When you set an intention and bring awareness to everything you do….how you touch, how you feel, how you breathe, how you smell and taste as well as how you engage or connect with your partner, it opens your body to experience more.
By using breath in sexual practice it allows the “prana” or life force to flow through our body and this energy can take you to a higher spiritual place.
Tantra is where spiritual and sexual energies go hand in hand
It’s being in your truth around everything, your feelings and emotions which then effects how you communicate with your partner on all levels, not just sexually.
When you are consciously working with your sexual energy it’s very different to just having sex, it goes beyond that. It can open both men and women to experiencing more in their orgasmic experience. In time you can experience and feel the energy circulating through yourself and your body will start to respond differently.
The Final Layer
The final layer to Tantra is learning how to really awaken the genitals to the fullest. So many people do not understand how the arousal system for both men and women work and so there are many techniques that can be applied to the genitals to bring about more pleasure.
Tantra is a pathway to another world that engages and connects you, physically, spiritually & emotionally firstly to yourself and then to your partner. So why would you not want to try Tantra to either save your relationship or to enhance an already fantastic one!
If you are curious to learn more, then come and check out my workshop, “Connecting Deeper” – A workshop for couples. Here is the link on Eventbrite https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/connecting-deeper-a-workshop-for-couples-tickets-25398580839
Please ensure you email me your phone number so I can advise of the venue location.
No 1 Thing They Want is Respect!
They want to feel respected and honoured and know they are being heard. When they feel these things, they feel empowered as a man. When a man is feeling acknowledged, then nothing stops them from being the best they can be for themselves first and then for their partner.
And yeah, they still do want sex!
I know plenty of women that are looking for these qualities in their relationships too, so why is it that there is such disharmony in our relating?
I think there is too much demand on expectations loaded up with a ton of judgement and a lot of immature thinking. We aren’t taught how to relate, how to behave and learn by social media and many other avenues, including porn.
What We All Want
It all starts with self, how would we like to be treated? Then actually treating your partner in the same way. They desire respect, so do we, so behave respectfully, be in integrity.
I read an article where it said that men would rather have their wives love them less than disrespect them and that research also showed according to S. Feldhahn, that respect is men’s main concern.
I find the first part of that statement, completely ridiculous. Who really would want their partner to love them less for any reasons, whether it’s to receive respect, acknowledgement and true communication.
We all are desiring love, intimacy and connection and without communication, we don’t really gain any of these things for “real” relating.
Let’s Get Real
So how about we put away our fear, show our true selves, including our vulnerability, be in our truth, even when it’s tough and speak from our hearts. When we speak from our hearts, then “real” relating can occur and everyone wins!
We all want to be seen, heard & loved…
Ultimately, we all want to be in relationships that uplift, inspire, co-contribute and bring us joy and happiness.
For those living under a rock the Ashley Madison dating site, was specifically created to target people in relationships to have affairs “with ease”. The site has had a staggering 1.24 million visits in one month alone. It has 39 million members over 46 countries – now that is a hell of a lot of cheating!!
Cheating is not new, nor is cheating online. There are a huge amount of adult dating sites and quite often there are married people on these sites. Sometimes they have that in their profile, sometimes they don’t.
Statistics show a staggering 1.7 million Aussie men & women are in no-sex or low sex relationships
It is estimated that 15-20 % of men or women are having sex, no more than 10 times in a year, which is what is now being defined by “experts” as a sexless marriage.
So you would think then that could be a reason for affairs, because there is no sex in their relationships. However there are a myriad of reasons why people have affairs and cheat and lack of sex is not the only reason.
NOTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS
I did a survey last year and the answers I received were surprisingly different as they were varied.
The most obvious answers indicated that people thought the reasons were due to being unhappy in the relationship or not having sex. However that was far from the truth! Whilst some men & women concurred, that this was the case, there certainly was no consistency as to why it was occurring. Some were happy in their relationships and had lots of sex with their partner, yet were seeking other partners to satisfy other needs which weren’t known at the time. Others had a brief affair when they realised that their relationship was over.
Others had been in an abusive relationship and this was a form of escape. Also quite a few women didn’t listen to their intuition which in itself was a great lesson to them. Sometimes beginning an affair was a wakeup call that the relationship was over.
WHAT’S THE ANSWER
Nothing is guaranteed in life however some good starting points to not seeking an affair or having one, would be to build a strong relationship through communication and connection. Once that’s established you can build your intimacy, take it to deeper places and ensure you are having a great sexual connection as well. Often relationships lose their spark, so it’s important to not take things for granted.
If you work for someone or are in your own business, you have reviews and check lists to see that you are on target, whereas in relationships, you meet, fall in love and expect it to be the happy every after, with no input and just expect the relationship to rock on in the same way for the next 10, 20, 30 years.
THAT’S NOT THE REALITY
Too many times I see people who are craving intimacy and connection, yet they have stopped communicating with their partner. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if it didn’t have to get to that point. To be able to speak your truth about what is going on for you without judgement from your partner. To be honest firstly with yourself and then your partner about everything. That would make a strong relationship from which you can build so many more layers on. Too many times things are not said, for so many reasons, that you don’t want to upset the other person, or get into a complicated discussion and sometimes you don’t want to be really honest with yourself and your partner and not face the reality of what is really going on for yourself. When this happens the barriers and walls are starting to go up even on an energetic level.
These are the alarming statistics on infidelity:
* 41% of marriages where one or both spouses admitted to infidelity, either physically or emotionally
* 57% of men admitted to committing to infidelity in any relationship they have had
* 54% of women admitted to committing to infidelity in any relationship they’ve had
If you don’t want to fall into that category then don’t allow your relationship to just drift along, take action and become proactive. Learn new skills in communicating, intimacy & how you can become an even better lover!
We get so busy with our day to day lives that sometimes we are often guilty of not taking time out from everything to really connect with our partner. By the time you go to work, come home, organise dinner, put the kids to bed if you have young ones or run around playing taxi with the older kids that you go to bed, grateful to be there. Or alternatively, you work late, squeeze in the gym or something else and find that you don’t have quality time together.
What are you looking forward to this year? I know I’m looking forward to so many things and everyone has this buzz that 2012 is going to be totally amazing! Oh my goodness, so many wonderful things coming I can hardly wait and I know the year will be gone before we know it! I didn’t set any New Year’s resolutions as I think they are a waste of time. If I’m going to do something, I just do it, I don’t need the new year to make a promise. Having said that I did kick the New Year off with a 7 day detox and back into my new eating plan. I wanted to start the new year off super super healthy and wanted to make up for some lost time of not getting to the gym from travelling around and doing lots of brain training instead.
I am looking forward to my business growing and I’m very excited with everything that goes with that. It feels so good to finally after so many years to be actually following my passion and knowing my purpose and what I’m here on this earth to do.
I am already grateful for the wonderful things that have happened for me so far and it’s only the middle of January!
I look forward to spending time with my daughter who comes to visit for a few days. It will be fun taking her to catch up with some of our old friends as well as for her to see her ex high school friends.
February and March are going to be big months with more training in sacred sexuality which I can bring into my coaching so I’m really looking forward to that part of the journey, so I can bring those learnings to my clients.
I am extremely grateful for this blessed life we live and for all the wonderful people who are apart of this journey with me.
Where would we be without music? Music can create the moment and set the scene for any situation. I have loads of favourites downloaded on my IPhone which I constantly listen too. I’m especially fond of the songs which help get me into state, that can lift my mood no matter what. I’ve certainly had some funny times listening to those ones. There was a training I attended once and every morning I’d pull up outside the hotel where the guests just happened to be having their breakfast and I’d play this particular track very loudly and my friend and I would be sitting in the seats dancing our hearts out fully and it would just wake up our very being, we’d come out of the car like the switch had been turned on and we were ready to roll. One time we were filmed by someone in the restaurant, so no doubt we could be floating around on You Tube somewhere. I love listening to beautiful gentle music when I’m having a bath and I also have my favourite music to listen to when I’m making love. I always wanted to play a musical instrument so I could make beautiful music and never really did other than play a djembe drum. That was a lot of fun learning to play though and I loved the sounds from the drum and how it just seemed to get into the very core of yourself. That’s what I probably love most about music that it can connect to your core and you can just be carried away with the sounds allowing it to caress your body and your mind and taking you wherever you want to go with it.