Intimacy & Sex
There is nothing more delicious, more divine than when you are with someone who you are completely connected with. You are both present with yourself and each other in the moment. It can be with a lover or a good friend. It can be a moment of just looking into each other’s eyes, it can the way they touch your back as you walk along together, or a look they give you or it can be when you are experiencing sexual ecstasy together.
When you hear the word prostitute all sorts of images can pop into your mind which have been imprinted on your being from a very young age. You were probably told, prostitutes are “bad” they have sex with strangers and take money for it. It conjures up all sorts of images of women who are desperate in some way or other, that they have to support their drug habits or other vices and that these women prowl the streets looking for men to sell themselves to.
I find it sad as a society that we have to invest so much interest into some-ones sexuality. That most people want to know who someone is having sex with rather than accepting someone for who they are. Our society is so screwed up around sex and the so called taboos associated with it that all sorts of assumptions and mis- information is rampant.
WARNING: It’s a BIG topic, so it’s ended up a BIG blog!
So what I did was draw on some of my clients experiences as well as putting together some standard questions and sent it out to my subscribers for their input and I was overwhelmed with the responses, for which I’m deeply grateful. I also asked their opinions as to what they thought were the reasons that infidelity occurs.
Statistics show that people who communicate about sex have better sex lives. So if something is not working for you in the bedroom it’s so important to talk about it. Firstly it is empowering to yourself to speak up about what you like and don’t like because ultimately it is about you. If you continue to allow sexual behaviour to unfold that you don’t enjoy then you are disempowering yourself and that will create a whole series of complications that will show up in other areas of your relationship and life.
When you are in a relationship there sometimes comes a time when sex can become a little mundane and ordinary. My view is that sex should be explosive and amazing all the time, so why wait until it gets to that point.
One of my absolute passions is teaching how to raise the libido
Your sexual energy is your life-force and when it is not fully activated it can effect you in all areas of your life. This includes health, emotional wellbeing, relationships, intimacy, work and finances. There are many things that can effect our libido including medications, hormones, stress, and sleep deprivation as well as physical and emotional challenges we may be experiencing.
The definition in the dictionary of foreplay is sexual stimulation prior to sex. However what the dictionary doesn’t take into account is the obvious differences between the masculine and the feminine.
How the woman comes from the heart space and the man from the genital space, so somewhere inbetween there has to be communication. Every woman and man has different desires and needs so it’s the navigation between these that can become the tricky part. What worked in a previous relationship may not work in the current one, so it’s about exploring, trying different things and not becoming static with ‘your moves‘.
Most women desire an emotional, heart space connection first before getting down to the sexual foreplay. Whilst yes sometimes it’s great to be grabbed and thrown down on the kitchen table and be devoured, we don’t want that all the time! Men like to be acknowledged as well and secretly like to be told how great it is when they do something. Acknowledgement goes a long way.
This is such a big topic and ultimately everyone will deal with it in their own unique way and this is part of the journey to healing. There are so many ways that people will react to having experienced this, from anger and rage, turning to drugs or alcohol, depression and anxiety, food, guilt and shame, to name a few of the reactive places someone will go to after experiencing such trauma. Some people will carry this with them all their lives as a burden and others will step through the pain and have successful and happy lives.
Nobody can tell someone who has been through this how they should be, feel, or act – it is such an individual process.