When you are in a relationship there sometimes comes a time when sex can become a little mundane and ordinary. My view is that sex should be explosive and amazing all the time, so why wait until it gets to that point.



There is nothing like bringing a little fantasy or different lover’s masks into your sex life to add new layers to your loving, to your experiences and to your creativity. Playing with different aspects can allow you to explore areas that you normally may not, perhaps you maybe a little uncomfortable which is not necessarily a bad thing. It allows you to look at all sides of your sexual being and to explore these areas in a comfortable environment with a partner you trust.


I believe with the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey, this has opened up the area of fantasy play for a lot of women with the bondage and submissive roles. Now this can be explored in a way that is comfortable and most certainly not to the extreme that is explored in the series with any violence attached to it. Stop and think for a moment, how would it be to be tied up and blindfolded by your partner, does that scare you or excite you. What delicious things could be done to you whilst in that position? So this is a great way to start in fantasy, looking at the soft sides of dominance and submissiveness and how that can be explored.


Whenever you go into any exploration of fantasy it’s really important to discuss what you are going to do, what you would like to do and have agreements and boundaries in place. If you cannot go into explore without trust in the other person then don’t go there.


Our social conditioning can dictate that fantasy can be dangerous to a relationship which I totally disagree. There are 2 types of fantasies, those that are shared and not acted on such as if Brad Pitt were in the room……then……and those that are shared and agreed to and planned such as role playing.

Sex is for health and empowerment so be courageous and look at how you would like to explore and express yourself. The more you can open yourself up to play and open up your imagination the more it will take your relationship to new levels.




Get curious with yourself, look at ways you can bring fun into sex. It may be getting dressed up in your sexy lingerie and telling your partner to come into the room so you can surprise them. Have them sit down and do a sexy strip tease for them or do some sexy moves on them with your special outfit on. Guaranteed they are going to love it for many reasons. It’s not what normally happens and all men love to see their women in some sexy gear.


You can do so much and explore so many different lovers masks, the sky is the limit, it’s really how much you want to let your imagination run away with you and the more you allow yourself to indulge with your imagination, the more you can explore.


It doesn’t mean that when you aren’t using fantasy sex becomes boring or dull, what it does is enhance your sexual relationship giving you new depths and layers to yourself and your partner which ultimately is what it’s all about.


Now contributing monthly as an ‘InShape News Columnist’

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