There can be many reasons why this can happen so it’s important to look at all aspects of why this has occurred and consider some of the following:

·      What do you think has contributed to these feelings?

·      How long has it been going on for?

·      How’s your communication?

Sometimes when you’ve been together a very long time, you become complacent with each other.  There is a massive amount of judgement, expectation and demand put on the partner and when things don’t go the way you’d like then the niggling and arguments can start to occur.

Often we hang onto things and have trouble letting go and forgiving.

When did you last sit down with your partner and have a heart to heart conversation?

My guess would be that hasn’t happened in a long time.  There are extremely effective ways to communicate with each other that allows the other person to actually hear.

When you’re not present with yourself, then you can’t become present with your partner.  How many times have you spoken to each other when one is not in the room or they’re busy doing something else, so they are not focused on what you’re saying?

The best way to communicate, especially if relates to the relationship is sitting opposite each other, over a meal.  That way you are both present and can hear each other.

It’s always good to remember to say how you feel when a situation occurs and not point the finger and go into blame mode.  As soon as you do that the barriers come up and nothing will get through.

Maybe You’ve Lost Interest Due To Her Gaining Weight?

Very few people as they age will retain the same body they had when you first got together.  It’s part of growing older and the ageing process.

Has your partner had children or gone through menopause?

How is your body holding up with ageing?

Is it still in the same condition?

What are you both eating?

Are you both active and doing some exercise?

Perhaps this is a great time to start some sort of fitness routine together by getting out walking or swimming.  There is a myriad of things that you can do together:

This is a good time to think back to why you fell in love with her in the first place as it’s easy to lose sight of that if you have lost interest or attraction.  Focus on the positive things, make a list of all the things you do love about her as well as how she contributes to your life.

Look at the depth of her and who she is rather than the superficial things.

Really the best way is to have open, honest dialogue which can be done with kindness and compassion.

At the end of it all, if there is more going on than just that it can help to go and talk to someone about it.

It all comes down to choice – how will your life be with her or without her?

Published in Saving Brothers Publication