This was a challenge to write about as I don’t personally have experience of infidelity and  I didn’t want to talk about it from a hypothetical perspective.

So what I did was draw on some of my clients experiences as well as putting  together some standard questions and sent it out to my subscribers for their input and I was overwhelmed with the responses, for which I’m deeply grateful.  I also asked their opinions as to what they thought were the reasons that infidelity occurs.


The answers from both of these surveys were surprisingly different as they were varied.

The most obvious answers indicated that people thought the reasons were due to being unhappy in the relationship or not having sex.  However that was far from the truth! Whilst some men & women concurred, that this was the case.  There certainly was no consistency as to why it was occurring.  Some were happy in their relationships and had lots of sex with their partner, yet were seeking other partners to satisfy other needs which weren’t known at the time.  Others had a brief affair when they realised that their relationship was over.

Others had been in an abusive relationship and this was a form of escape.  Also quite a few women didn’t listen to their intuition which in itself was a great lesson to them.  Sometimes beginning an affair was a wake up call that the relationship was over.


Communication, connection and adding variety to your sex life.  Too many times I see people who are craving intimacy and connection, yet they have stopped communicating with their partner.  Wouldn’t it be fantastic if  it didn’t have to get to that point.  To be able to speak your truth about what is going on for you without judgement from your partner.  To be honest firstly with yourself and then your partner about everything.  Not holding things back for assumed reasons.  Then that would make a strong relationship from which you can build so many more layers on.  Too many times things are not said, for so many reasons, that you don’t want to upset the other person, or get into a complicated discussion and sometimes you don’t want to be really honest with yourself and your partner and not face the reality of what is really going on for yourself.  When this happens the barriers and walls are starting to go up even on an energetic level.


These are the alarming statistics on infidelity:

  • 41% of marriages where one or both spouses admitted to infidelity, either physically or  emotionally
  • 57% of men admitted to committing to infidelity in any relationship they have had
  • 54% of women admitted to committing to infidelity in any relationship they’ve had


Let’s face it, the majority of us didn’t receive much of an education on relationships, let alone how to be a good partner and lover and most people have just muddled their way along.

If you don’t want to fall into that category then don’t allow your relationship to just drift along, which I see so often happening.  Take action and become proactive and learn new skills in communicating, intimacy & how you can become an even better lover!

Guest blogger for

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