Let’s Have Sex

Sounds like a great idea, but how many of you go into a new sexual experience with the same expectations? Or for that matter the same moves and techniques. Whether it’s with the same partner or a different one, quite often we have an expectation of what is needed to get to your end goal. Quite often partners get into the whole tit for tat, well she didn’t give me oral sex so I’m not going to give it to her or visa versa.

How many of you are slipping into this pattern? Too many people become routine in their love making. From men’s perspectives often they think that if they found something that works, then they stick to it. Maybe they realised that when they did certain moves it achieved a certain result. And so not only do they then stick to the same moves every time with the woman they are with, if they end up with another woman, then they do the same moves and then wonder why it’s not achieving the same result. Women are also just as guilty as sticking to doing certain moves or the same ones .


So let’s get something straight right now. Our basic anatomy is the same, yet there are a variety of different types of genitalia for both men and women. So what works for one type, possibly may not work for another. So how do you work it out?


Well for starters get rid of the end goal, the outcome and get back to basics and explore! And just because today you were able to push certain buttons by doing certain things, doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s going to work next time the exact same way.

No surprise here but men and women are very different and respond differently sexually.

Men tend to be more genital focused for themselves, yet women prefer to have their whole body awakened first, before having their breasts and vagina’s played with. So it’s about learning how to read each other’s body and that takes a new way of being with each other. Being fully present and not thinking about what’s for dinner or what you have to do the next day in that meeting. It’s important to bring your mind back to what’s in front of you. I mean why wouldn’t you want to be focused here, you’re engaging in sex aren’t you?


So it’s about re-educating ourselves around sex and intimacy. Unfortunately in today’s society, especially with the input from the porn industry, most people have an expectation around sex. It has become very goal orientated and outcome driven with a lot of friction based movement.

It’s time to let go of expectations, let go of who’s doing what, let go of how many orgasms the woman’s had, it’s time to just let go… completely… and approach sex with a different attitude and view point. It’s time to slow down and enjoy the sense of touch for just that, the experience of what it is like to really feel each other fully. Get curious again and explore, use your finger tips, your hands, your arms. Play with different pressure, do it with eyes shut, do it with eyes open, awaken your senses and enjoy the experience and allow it to unfold. You may surprise yourself with what you uncover, you may discover a more erotic and intimate connection and that would be a terrible thing wouldn’t it?

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