Boundaries play a big part with consent and something that a lot of people don’t understand or know how to create them in many aspects of life. Think about when you were little and you were visiting Aunty Bertha or Uncle Bob or whoever and all they wanted to do was give you a big hug. Engulf you into their arms and you really didn’t want that hug, yet mum or dad are telling you, be polite, say hello, give them a hug.
So we want to feel into the energy or the space of what feels right in our body at that moment…
A Fun Game to Practice
Sit with your partner or friend and play the boundary game, it’s pretty simple. None of it’s actionable. Ask your partner/friend 3 times if you can do something to them. Make it something you know they would like and also make it something you know they won’t like. Regardless of the question, the partner/friend has to say YES. However, before answering feel into your body, then say YES and then feel into how that actually felt to say yes to something that you did not want to happen or experience and the difference it felt when you actually would like to say YES. Then reverse roles.
The 2nd part of this activity is exactly the same, though this time, one person will ask 3 more questions and this time you will again feel into your body however you will answer NO. Again feel what that feels like to say NO to something you do want to have and what it feels like to say NO to something you definitely don’t want.
You can expand on that with intimate touch. This really helps you to get present and have awareness of what you wish to receive and not receive. I recommend all people in relationship do this regularly.
In part 4 of this blog series of 5 we look and explore what exactly Consensual Touch is.