My wife & I have not been sexually active for 3-4 years. Due mainly to ongoing health issues involving major surgery to both. I now have an erectile dysfunction problem ? How can we keep up our sex life?

It sounds like there has been a lot going on with both of you around your health and this can definitely impact on your sex life.  If you’re on any medications this can sometimes effect libido and create erectile dysfunction, plus you have the stress of ill health on top of it.

Ultimately this not only affects your physical condition it also affects your mental health.  As a libido coach, I always work with both aspects.  If you are not experiencing erections or they aren’t lasting there are quite a lot of things that I work with to help this area.  Having a strong pelvic floor area is a good place to start to strengthen erection function.  We also have to look at moving the sexual energy through your body more and work with being more connected with self and your partner.

It’s a little difficult to diagnose without the full picture.  If you’ve had your prostate removed then that can be difficult for erections to come back. Everyone responds differently from that surgery.  I also work with that area by working on the internal scarring, with good results.

If erections are completely off the table there are many ways to connect sexually without intercourse.  Apart from the obvious of foreplay, you can work with breath and slow touch to bring about different body experiences and connecting to sexual energy can open you up in new ways of sexual expression.