The definition in the dictionary of foreplay is sexual stimulation prior to sex. However what the dictionary doesn’t take into account is the obvious differences between the masculine and the feminine.

How the woman comes from the heart space and the man from the genital space, so somewhere inbetween there has to be communication. Every woman and man has different desires and needs so it’s the navigation between these that can become the tricky part. What worked in a previous relationship may not work in the current one, so it’s about exploring, trying different things and not becoming static with ‘your moves‘.

Most women desire an emotional, heart space connection first before getting down to the sexual foreplay. Whilst yes sometimes it’s great to be grabbed and thrown down on the kitchen table and be devoured, we don’t want that all the time! Men like to be acknowledged as well and secretly like to be told how great it is when they do something. Acknowledgement goes a long way.

3 Hot Juicy Tips for the Men

♥     Women like to talk, we like our brains turned on. So start at the beginning of the day. Send a sexy text, tell her she looks beautiful, do the dishes, just pay attention to her in some way. Have some communication of some sort. If you ignore her all day and then expect sex when you fall into bed, chances are it won’t happen.

♥     Undress her slowly, as you take each layer off it exposes just that little bit more and pay attention to those bits, tease her. Anticipation is a huge turn on.

♥     Don’t go straight for the obvious, we don’t want our breasts grabbed or fingers being inserted straight away. We usually like a slow dance and lead up. Touch with light caress, kiss and nibble our necks and our tummys, just explore our bodies slowly and learn to watch for the signals. Tune into our breath and get a sense of when to touch our breasts. As we get warmed up you will notice when it’s time to move down the body. There are lots of erogenous spots all around our vagina, so explore it with fingers, tongues, kisses & gentle nibbles, apply different pressures. You will know by our reaction when it’s time to move from foreplay to intercourse. Just remember some women will take longer to reach orgasm than others.

3 Hot Juicy Tips for the Women

♥     Undress your partner slowly, if he’s standing up, move around him caressing him as you go. Tell him he can’t touch you yet……build the anticipation. Once he’s naked you can sit him down on the bed or chair and then do a slow strip tease, again let him look but not touch…..turn around and let him really look at you, that is a huge turn on for him or leave your lingerie on for awhile….mix it up and see what works.

♥     Once your partner is naked, instead of sitting him down, stand behind him and start to caress his back and chest, kiss and lick him. Even wriggle your body up and down him. Move your hands down his body and grab his penis from behind him and hold it as if it were him holding it….let your hands start to play slowly.

♥     When you start to give your man oral use your hands as well as your mouth. There is more than a penis down there so explore with pressure and touch both with hands and mouth, he will love it.

At the end of the day if you want a happy, healthy sex life with your partner it needs to be communicated. Tell them when you like something, guide them when you desire something and remember to play and explore. It’s not about how many orgasms you have as a women or how long you can hold off for if you are a man. Unfortunately society is to fixated on this. Sex is a beautiful journey so enjoy it, get out of your head and not worry about the outcome.

Now contributing monthly as an ‘InShape News Columnist’

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